My patheticness

While I am fairly sure I Oed when my stupid chart says I did, I still have inklings of doubt (stupid 26 day LP). Hence why at 9 dpo I am still using OPKs. On the plus side they are resoundingly negative (no line at all), so I guess that is a good thing. Besides, they are the answer ones that expire 30 days after they are opened. Shit, they would barely survive my LP.

While we are on the topic of patheticness, I am freaking over analyzing everything. I swore I wouldn't do this after last month. I blame all the people telling me that they know of someone or they got pregnant the cycle of their HSG. Thanks a lot. Like I needed any help with this. I might have been better off were it not for the effing boob pain. J about got punched last night when he was messing around with them. I haven't let him in on the fact that if he leaves the bottom alone, he'd probably be in the clear. Why in the hell do only the bottom of my boobs hurt? If they are going to hurt, damn it, let the whole thing hurt.

Jury is still out on what I am doing for my cousin's wedding. I so want to get hammered. Gah. At least telling people the only reason I don't seem drunk is because they are way drunker than I am will likely be a very true statement. Silly family. Who wants to bet money my quasi-drunk ass will be fishing one of their drunk asses out of the pool after the reception?

Happy 100th blog post

W00t!

So apparently the CM was for a reason. I Oed on CD14 this cycle. What the fuck is up with that.

It's double up Sunday!

Since this has absolutely nothing to do with the other post.

What a difference a week makes. With the exception on BIL not letting the dogs jump on him and pointing out his scar from surgery- you can't tell anything happened to the man. It was a little unnerving, but he was his old self again last night. Apparently his short term memory has made some awesome recovery the last few days. Yay!

So yeah

Body- you are not effing funny. There is no reason I should be having mass quantities of fertile CM right now. You haven't O'ed in the time frame in over a year. Don't go acting all normal on me now, you psychotic piece of crap. I would have chalked up some of yesterday's to remains of the contrast from the HSG, but I don't recall being told that stuff is stretchy. I actually left a spot a couple places I sat yesterday. Lovely. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Or in with the tigers, I would suspect that would have yielded the same result.

HSG Results

All clear. Everything is just as it should be.

It's kind of sad that while I am happy about that, I was hoping there was something. At this point it would be nice to know why. But everything keeps coming back normal.

That word is starting to piss me off.

This and That

BIL: He had a pacemaker/defibrillator put in. Went home today. Hopefully things will continue to improve. His biggest issue at the moment is his struggles with short term memory.

Ute: Is cramping. Apparently it wants to practice for the big show tomorrow.

Work: Holy day from hell. I got thrown under the bus so many times today- all for shit I didn't screw up. Good times. Fortunately I was able to crawl off the road by the end of the day so I'm not going to have that crap going through my head all weekend.

Dogs: As dumb as ever. At least we have managed to find a way to keep the bitch from peeing in the living room every night. Though now she won't eat because she's mad at us. Sigh.

J: Is his usual jackass self. Hopefully I won't try to kill him tomorrow while he's trying to "help".

BIL Update

He is awake and doing well. It was congestive heart failure, which caused some fluid in his lungs and that is what he had coming out when it hit.

The only major side effect he is having is some memory loss. He kept asking MIL what happened to her arm- she fell at Christmas and is still recovering from that. He had no idea that his daughter was pregnant. But so far things like that are the only things wrong. That we can live with.

How can such a bad thing happen on such a beautiful day?

Today the plan was to move the door on the shed. With the new garage going up, we wouldn't be able to get into it (we couldn't attach it as it doesn't have footings. Duh It's a shed. Stupid city). We made our quickie trip to Home Depot this morning to get a couple necessities and J and his friend got to work. I did a bunch of yard clean up while they were working. Around 12:45 I went in to get a drink of water. I had checked J's phone earlier and saw MIL had called a couple times. Sigh. I knew neither of us was in the mood for an hour conversation with her, so I ignored it until I saw she called my phone and left a message. I was figuring she wanted something done at her house and needed J to do it. I wish. Oh how I wish.

BIL (M) had a heart attack this morning (it sounds more like he had a seizure that led to a heart attack, but I digress). She didn't leave a whole lot of details, so I called her back. He was in the hospital- they had to drug him to get the tube in and the IV's and put him in restraints as he kept trying to pull them out. Other than those reflexes, he is completely non-responsive. Not good. She went on to tell me that SIL was unable to do mouth to mouth as he was foaming at the mouth and was just pushing the fluid back into his lungs. By the time the paramedics got there, his heart had stopped and he had not been breathing. For 8 minutes. Also not good. We scrambled to put the shed back together as fast as possible so we could go see how things were going.

We went into his room and there were a few others there. He would "wake up" for a few seconds at a time, but it was definitely a lights are on but no one's home look. (We are pretty sure it was just a reflex to something at that point). After a while, he ended up spitting the tube out and ripping an IV out, so them had to put him out again. It was taking them a while and they brought one of the machines up to check him again. SIL said it looked exactly like what had happened that morning. Great. At this point they need to do a heart catheter, but they can't do that until he is showing some kind of response.

Please keep M is your thoughts and prayers. Also their daughter, who is 25 weeks pregnant with his first biological grandchild (which he has been so very excited about) and is not taking this well at all.

CD1

Thank God. If today would have been 27 dpo, I would have lost my shit.

HSG is now scheduled for April17th. Yippee.

Um, FF?

You are on crack. I don't know how you feel any of the following charts resemble my post O patterns.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ChartGallery/101154.html
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ChartGallery/101415.html
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ChartGallery/101064.html
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ChartGallery/100936.html
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ChartGallery/100862.html

Kindly step away from whatever it is you are smoking or freaking share it.

"Are you pregnant?"

Listen up, you stupid twit of a receptionist. I realize that you have many people calling you throughout the day and week. However, I have talked to you every day this week between ordering my blood test, getting the results, and the follow up. It's called a memory- try finding one and quit asking me this 1-2 times daily. K? Thanks.

Why does that even matter? Maybe if I ever do get pregnant I get put into a special club or something- fuck I don't know. Wouldn't asking me the nature of my inquiry somewhat gather the same info? And if I am calling looking for test results and want the nurse to call me back, chances are she knows the answer to that question. Dumb ass.

I realize she is probably given a script, but damn it, when someone calls me that often about shit, I remember important parts about it. Like the answer to a question I have asked them that is apparently quite vital.

Aaaaaand

I missed the nurses phone call this afternoon and didn't get it until they had already closed. Crap. Naturally she didn't leave the results of the P4 test or what the doctor was thinking based on my chart and test results.

So now I have to try to catch her tomorrow morning. Yippee.