You and your stupid law. Why does it apply to everyone but me? I bought 50 OPKs and Preseed last night at 11 dpo the day of a decent temp jump. No one else's period would have started today. (Explains why I was bawling on the way in to work today and why I was such a bitch yesterday.) But lucky me, during our meeting about going paperless, I got a wonderful treat.
Or maybe it's because I am hoping for your law to work and therefore it doesn't. Which means it actually is working. Mind bottling.
So decided to check with my doctor about the lap and they only need a week to get it scheduled, so no big rush there. I don't think I am ready for that at the moment. Maybe next week I will fell different. Maybe not. At this point I am torn if I even give a shit anymore. I know the chances of us conceiving naturally at this point pretty much don't exist. It's kind of sad that I am jealous of those with a blocked tube or endo or that don't ovulate. At least they know why they can't get pregnant.
My shit just can't get it's crap together well enough to work correctly. Awesome.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Meet results!
So I ended up lifting in the 220 weight class- my body rejected the notion of 198. I weighed in exactly between the weight classes at 95 kilos (198 is 90, 220 is 100).
Squat was almost the death of me. Not because it was too heavy, but because I was struggling to get depth (hip must break parallel to the knee). My first attempt at 369 was most definitely high, my second attempt at the same weight was questionable. I was pissed and said screw it, if I'm going to bomb, I'm going to bomb with a respectable weight- so third attempt I had them load up 407(prior personal best was 391). The front judge had given me white lights on all three lifts, the two side judges were the ones red lighting me. One of them (which I thanked her for later) gave me a white light on my third (though it was supposedly also questionable). 2/3 is a good lift, so I was still in the meet. Woo hoo!
Bench went pretty much as planned. 209 was a bigger bitch getting it down than up, 220 was a decent lift, couldn't get 231 off my chest. Pretty typical.
Deadlift is usually my sucktacular lift. I put in a fiarly low opener of 325 to make sure I got one in. And good thing to because I had to pee like all hell and almost pissed myself on the platform. I ran and peed after that attempt and managed to get back before it was time for my next one, so all was well. Pulled a 341 on attempt #2. Had J turn in a final attempt of 358 (also a personal best). I didn't think I was going to get it locked out, but I did- went 3/3 in deadlift. With the exception of my very first meet (which were very light lifts), I have never pulled all three deadlifts.
Also ended up with a PR total of 447.5 kilos (986 lbs).
What I took away from the meet:
1. I very badly need to work on my squat depth. I hate getting behind like that and won't get that lucky again.
2. I need to work on my bench. I should be benching at least 250. Not too far off, but a ways to go on that.
3. While my deadlift has improved (though I have absolutely no idea how considering other than the two workouts I did within 10 days of the meet, I haven't pulled a deadlift since January), I have a long ways to go. I should be out deadlifting my squat.
4. I need a new squat suit. Mine is done for. It was actually loose (which is weird as I was at around 210 for the meet and normally lift in it at 198). Which means I need to lose weight as the other suits I have are too small for me at the moment.
Squat was almost the death of me. Not because it was too heavy, but because I was struggling to get depth (hip must break parallel to the knee). My first attempt at 369 was most definitely high, my second attempt at the same weight was questionable. I was pissed and said screw it, if I'm going to bomb, I'm going to bomb with a respectable weight- so third attempt I had them load up 407(prior personal best was 391). The front judge had given me white lights on all three lifts, the two side judges were the ones red lighting me. One of them (which I thanked her for later) gave me a white light on my third (though it was supposedly also questionable). 2/3 is a good lift, so I was still in the meet. Woo hoo!
Bench went pretty much as planned. 209 was a bigger bitch getting it down than up, 220 was a decent lift, couldn't get 231 off my chest. Pretty typical.
Deadlift is usually my sucktacular lift. I put in a fiarly low opener of 325 to make sure I got one in. And good thing to because I had to pee like all hell and almost pissed myself on the platform. I ran and peed after that attempt and managed to get back before it was time for my next one, so all was well. Pulled a 341 on attempt #2. Had J turn in a final attempt of 358 (also a personal best). I didn't think I was going to get it locked out, but I did- went 3/3 in deadlift. With the exception of my very first meet (which were very light lifts), I have never pulled all three deadlifts.
Also ended up with a PR total of 447.5 kilos (986 lbs).
What I took away from the meet:
1. I very badly need to work on my squat depth. I hate getting behind like that and won't get that lucky again.
2. I need to work on my bench. I should be benching at least 250. Not too far off, but a ways to go on that.
3. While my deadlift has improved (though I have absolutely no idea how considering other than the two workouts I did within 10 days of the meet, I haven't pulled a deadlift since January), I have a long ways to go. I should be out deadlifting my squat.
4. I need a new squat suit. Mine is done for. It was actually loose (which is weird as I was at around 210 for the meet and normally lift in it at 198). Which means I need to lose weight as the other suits I have are too small for me at the moment.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Tales from the gym.
So prepping for this meet has been going fairly well. Before the 4th, I got a 390 squat up fairly easily. When I went on Tuesday to bench, I had a disatrous showing- I couldn't even get 215 off my chest. Lovely. I was hoping for a shot at the state record, but it is 236, and if I can't get 215 up, that is pretty well shot.
Wednesday was deadlift day. I despise this lift with every fiber of my being, and it is probably why I deadlifted for the first time since January just 10 days before the meet. I managed to get 315 off the floor a couple times, so I was happy about that. Thursday was volleyball day, which ended up with my wrist starting to hurt again.
Friday, with J gone, I tried to get one of the trainers at the gym that used to lift to help me, but I couldn't get a hold of him, so I drug J's nephew's girlfriend B along with me. She helped me get ready for nationals a couple years ago after the trainer got injured at a meet. She can't spot much, but she can wrap knees fairly well and can run around to wrangle some spotters. I don't know if it was because of not eating much, or my wrist hurting, but holy hell what a horrible workout. I fell on my ass with 315 (granted it was partially my own fault because I went down too slowly and was trying to get my balance back). I did 365, but it felt like shiit, so I called it a day.
Saturday was a much better day. Back to benching and coming off that disatorous squat workout, I was a little nervous. But it went great. I got 225 up twice, almost got 235 up, but was only able to get 220 with a pause (in meets the bar has to come down to your chest, touch, and be motionless before you push it up). My deadlifts didn't go quite as well, but I honestly don't give a flying fuck.
Oh yeah, and I guess we are still working on that whole baby thing.
Wednesday was deadlift day. I despise this lift with every fiber of my being, and it is probably why I deadlifted for the first time since January just 10 days before the meet. I managed to get 315 off the floor a couple times, so I was happy about that. Thursday was volleyball day, which ended up with my wrist starting to hurt again.
Friday, with J gone, I tried to get one of the trainers at the gym that used to lift to help me, but I couldn't get a hold of him, so I drug J's nephew's girlfriend B along with me. She helped me get ready for nationals a couple years ago after the trainer got injured at a meet. She can't spot much, but she can wrap knees fairly well and can run around to wrangle some spotters. I don't know if it was because of not eating much, or my wrist hurting, but holy hell what a horrible workout. I fell on my ass with 315 (granted it was partially my own fault because I went down too slowly and was trying to get my balance back). I did 365, but it felt like shiit, so I called it a day.
Saturday was a much better day. Back to benching and coming off that disatorous squat workout, I was a little nervous. But it went great. I got 225 up twice, almost got 235 up, but was only able to get 220 with a pause (in meets the bar has to come down to your chest, touch, and be motionless before you push it up). My deadlifts didn't go quite as well, but I honestly don't give a flying fuck.
Oh yeah, and I guess we are still working on that whole baby thing.
Monday, July 6, 2009
5 years
That is how long my aunt and uncle tried before they adopted my cousin. 5 fucking years. Holy hell.
She and I had a quick little talk about it while there was no one else around this weekend. I hate that I made her cry (because she knows where I am at and hates that I am having to go through what she did). I am just hoping that we have a little better chance due to advances in medical technology, but I don't know at this point. We haven't decided how we are going to proceed at this point if nothing happens. Right now I am a little concerned with where the money for continued testing is going to come from. I am going to wait to see how my endo biopsy gets coded and how much that charge ends up being.
Sigh. Stupid money. I should play the lotto.
She and I had a quick little talk about it while there was no one else around this weekend. I hate that I made her cry (because she knows where I am at and hates that I am having to go through what she did). I am just hoping that we have a little better chance due to advances in medical technology, but I don't know at this point. We haven't decided how we are going to proceed at this point if nothing happens. Right now I am a little concerned with where the money for continued testing is going to come from. I am going to wait to see how my endo biopsy gets coded and how much that charge ends up being.
Sigh. Stupid money. I should play the lotto.
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