Love & Hate

It is amazing when you can love and hate someone with such a passion at the same time.

I so badly want to put J's head through a window right now. We originally had a plan for our refund money. It was a rough plan and I had stated that it may change if I was off on the totals owed. I was. He was sleeping and normally I just run the bills myself anyway, so I did what made the most sense to me. Getting rid of two smaller payments so I can put that money toward the larger balance we owe. One card was over it's limit (I forgot my chiropractor charges to that card and totally missed how high it got. That was my bad and I would actually be ok with him being a little upset over that. I should have been paying attention to that more than I was). The other is a Home Depot card and the balance that was interest free is getting close to the expiration date, so I paid it off before we got slapped with the interest charges.

It took around a half hour for him to comprehend what I did and why I did. Fucker, you show absolutely no interest in where we are at financially at any other point in the year- why would you choose to start giving a shit now?

Part of his issue was where the credit card balances came from. Most of them have been building over the last couple years. We've discussed this on many an occasion. It's not like I am trying to hide balances from him. Not my problem he can't fucking remember things.

Speaking of not being able to remember things, I asked him to see if they had posted his March drill dates yet. "Why?"

"Based off what my body was doing, there's a good chance I ovulated yesterday, so I know when my period should start and about when we would be doing the IUI next month. I need to know when your drill dates are because if you aren't going to be around I'm not going to waste our money getting the drugs" (Fucking DUH. For someone so insanely worried about our money "situation", he clearly wasn't thinking about not wasting $500 on shots. Dumbass.)

I told him the date that we would probably be doing the IUI around if I was right about the ovulating and an approximate on next months. He jumped up to go check his e-mail and see what he could find. He found the last dates that put out there- there shouldn't be any cross over with my date projections.
"Ah, ok. We should be good." I was really thinking we would be totally off.
"Good for what? Are we going to be able to do it or not?"
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS DIPSHIT? I just told you the date we would be doing the IUI 5 fucking minutes ago. Apparently I was looking at him like he had three heads. "What? Does it mean we are good to do it? Good that we are going to miss it and not do the drugs?" (Am I the only one that latter one makes absolutely no sense to?)

It was a good thing I had to leave to mail some checks. I was ready to scream at him. He wants to learn about what we are doing, but use some damn common sense. Blaming the RE because the Femara didn't work for me really isn't constuctive. Getting pissy with me because I am trying to plan shit out really doesn't get us anywhere either.

I'm guessing captain tightwad isn't going to call about freezing any sperm to cover his drills/deployment. He's been on this big kick lately about how he's willing try for a few more years and blah blah blah. Solving the wrong problem babe. More time isn't going to fix whatever the hell the problem is.