j reluctantly decides to grace us with his presence.

Or a birth story. Whichever you prefer.

Much as we had hoped I would go into labor on my own prior to my induction date, that was far from happening. I had pretty much no contractions leading up to the induction. So on the 16th we headed off to our birthing class reunion where we were the only couple to not have their baby (including the couple not due until the 21st). We knew he was coming if he liked it or not, so we kind of used it to steal ideas and get some additional experiences on births. We all swapped stories and contact info, then the slackers with outside babies thought they all needed to get home, so J and I headed to do some last minute shopping.

At 9 PM we checked into the hospital. We were a bit in awe that this was to be the last time we would not have j with us. Grabbed all our loot and headed in. Quick check in (due to my prior admit), then waiting around in the room for the nurses to get everything checked over (and they had to keep running out because they had tons of deliveries that night- and the next day too. I am sick of Braham's Lullaby). Finally at 11 PM they inserted the Cytotec on my cervix. At that point I was still right at 1 cm, maybe 50% effaced. J then proceeded to pass out and snore like a mother fucker (which resulted in him having some items tossed at him so I- you know, the person who had work to do the next day?- could sleep). I did get some sleep, but not much.

At 5 AM on the 17th the nurse checked my progress at I had gone to 3-4 cm. Sweet. They checked with my OB and it was determined not more Cytotec, we would be moving on to Pitocin in a couple hours. That finally happened at 8. Again with the high volume of laboring women at the time- I was a lower priority than someone pushing for some reason. At that point I really wasn't contracting, just some very faint cramps. Per J's notes (which is where 90% of these details are coming from), they contractions started picking up around 8:50.

By 9 AM they were 2-3 minutes apart. Not crazy strong, but consistent. At 9:55 my OB came in the check me and broke my water. I had wondered about how it felt and if I could somehow mistake it for something else. Nope. Definitely not. OB said at that point I was 3-4 cm, 90% effaced and baby was at -2 station.

Little man is doing wonderful through all this, by the way. Heart rate consistent, not showing any signs of distress from contractions or having the water broke.

So we soldier on. We were having some issues with the external contraction monitor, and it was decided that an internal monitor would be a better choice now that my water was broken. If you have never had one, it is a very interesting experience. Someone decided it was his new toy. Creepy and cool at the same time.

The next couple hours were just more contractions and breathing. I proceeded to make a huge mess of the floors with my water and blood. Fun times. Contractions were getting stronger, but they weren't consistently stronger. They would jump up, then come back down, but the general trend was up. My nurse at the time was awesome- she was very helpful in backing J with my breathing and reassurement as the contractions built. She was telling me that she wished she had a floor full of me's (apparently there were some whiny ones).

I was hoping to make it med free, but when your contractions go from a 5-6 on the pain scale to 8-9 in less than 30 minutes, saying screw that becomes a little easier (I realize this could be pit related as it was shortly after she was told to up my dose). I wasn't ready to take the leap for an epi, so I opted for some IV meds. I was given Fentanyl, which worked wonderfully. For about 40 minutes. Fuck.

First dose of that was at 1:15 (along with an internal monitor for j, which gave me more freedom to move around to deal with contractions. At that time I was 4.5-5 cm), followed by a repeat at 2:40. Again, short lived.

Contractions kept building. They moved from an 8-9 on the 10 scale to HOLY FUCK. At 3:30 the nurse again checked me and I was at 5-6 cm. Still a long way to go and it was extremely painful. At 4 I finally had to say fuck it. Bring on the epidural. By 4:30 it was administered- after some contractions that left me completely white, shaking, and close to passing out. By 4:45, I felt fucking awesome. J and I were hoping that this would help me relax and perhaps that would help me progress.

Things were looking up. No more pain. The nurses were rolling me from side to side trying to get j into a better position. At one point they rolled me too far and my leg fell off the side. J was all over it and got it back up before I fell on the floor. (This will be important later.)

At 6:30, the nurse proclaimed me at 7 cm, at 6:45 she said 8 cm. Fucking sweet. Good progress...........until my OB came in at 7:30 to see how things were going. Apparently my nurse (not the awesome one from earlier- there was a shift change) sucked balls at realizing when there are two internal monitors you have to remove those from the dilation equation. I was only 5 cm. The nurse had also said I was at -1 station, but that was because of the internal monitor and the baby's head attempting to fit. He hadn't truly dropped. My OB was not confident at all that baby was going to fit due to the large amount of time and good contractions that should have pushed j to at least 0 station by then and better dilation. He wanted to move on with a c-section. No objections from me- at this point I am physically and emotionally done.

So now the quick scramble to get me antibiotics, get consent forms signed, etc. I was rolled into the delivery room around 8. (From here out is mainly from J, who was way too into it) I was given a couple extra shots to prep for the c-section- one of which absolutely killed. On top of that, the rolling around had left me with a pinched nerve in my left shoulder. In order to to a c-section, you have to lay with your arms out to the sides. If you have ever had a pinched nerve in your shoulder, you have a good idea of how badly that hurts. But no other option but to suck it up at this point. Let the slicing begin.

Fortunately my epidural was awesome and I felt nothing but some slight tugging and just weirdness. The cut was made- guess who didn't want to fit out of the hole? My OB was having to shake j back and forth to get his shoulders and chest out. Apparently the head was the least of my issues with having him. I do recall at one point someone (one of the nurses I think- but I was loopy so who knows) said something along the lines of "Big head, wide shoulders, narrow pelvis- no way was that happening". Lucky me. At 8:15 PM the pulled out j, who at this time is a lovely shade of purple. He was having some issues getting his breathing started (not all that unusual for a c-section), so they whisked him off to the nursery for some oxygen. No biggie- I'd get to see him in a bit. J hung around to make sure I was ok. Did come close to puking while they were stitching things up and putting things back inside. (Ew.) I have 3 layers of stitches and a layer of staples. Rawr. I get sent to recovery and then spend a night in hell. Definitely not what I had bargained for.

Meanwhile, J went to check on j. The oxygen was not improving things, so we were now the parents of the largest child in the NICU. They were calling it for fluid in the lungs and should clear up with some oxygen and he'd be out in a few days (which is way wrong- this will be the next entry).

But we are both here and breathing. I am recovering well and will be released tomorrow. However our NICU journey is going to continue for a bit.