Today sucks too.

Too tired to be a bitch today. Though I did finally manage to eat something other than crackers and Sprite. I did gag on my grilled cheeses though (which is sad because I super pink puffy heart grilled cheese). I actually took a nap while DH went to the driving range. I would have loved to have gone with, but there is no way I could have. Unfortunately, I very much recognized the cramps I started getting right before I went to sleep.

I give it 24 hours before my period starts.

And now my knee is hurting (a sign that my period is imminent). And my lower back is killing me (again with my period being only hours away).

Holy raging bitch

Hola mood swings! Where have you been hiding?

Good lord- they were bad today. I was happy, then ready to cry, laughing, then ready to punch a bitch. My computer pissed me off because it wouldn't let me pay bills (not that I really wanted to, but it needed to be done). It almost went through the wall.

Probably not helping that I feel like absolute balls today. Was doing good until I finished my coffee- then I felt like I was going puke all day. Had a lovely lunch of saltines and a lunchable (which was almost impossible to swallow- the meat and cheese we making me gag) and a 7up. Didn't help a whole lot. Finished off the sleeve of crackers on the way home. Still felt like hell. Had soup for supper, drinking water, just all around being a good girl and I still feel like crap. I am freezing, but my skin feels like it is on fire (to be fair on that one- I did get a bit much sun on Saturday, so that may explain that part).

I hate feeling shitty.

New obsession

So boredom and curiosity have taken over. I made a pregnancy ticker. I am lame (but I also like to be prepared. Apparently I would be 5 weeks today (stupid screwy long cycle). Yippee skippy. I really need to find something to occupy my time.

I am lame.

8 dpo. I suck.

In case you couldn't figure out it was negative!

Someone talk me out of it.

Tomorrow is 7 dpo. My mega-pack of HPT's arrived today.

I just know I am going to break a cardinal rule tomorrow morning. At least I expect it to be negative.

Crap, I'm going to be one of "those" girls, aren't I?

I am about ready to smack myself.

I am 3 dpo and I am damn close to labeling myself as nuts. Ordered some bulk pregnancy tests today- fine, not that big an issue. I am a testing freak as it is, so this was not much of a shock that I went ahead and did this. That is one thing. Contemplating ordering a onesie so that I have it on hand for when I need it (as something to give to DH in the event he is not home when I get a BFP)- to me that is crossing the line. I am really, really hoping I can keep myself from going over the edge with any of this stuff. I have an addictive personality, so that doesn't bode well for my chances of staying sane through all this.

Oh the joy of it all.

Finally

Crosshairs! Yay! The dog has avoided a beating...lol. Seriously though, it feel like a weight has been lifted- that was getting so crazy stressful. The two week wait is going to be nothing compared to this waiting to O crap (well, at least I hope so). It would be awesome if I did get pregnant this cycle, but at this point I will just have to wait and see.

If I don't I will probably go ahead a schedule the semen analysis we were supposed to do this month. I still think J is worrying too much about it, but at 36, I somewhat understand why he is concerned. But his reasons behind wanting one are asinine- simply because I didn't get pregnant the first try and because he hasn't gotten anyone else pregnant are not very good reasons. He always used a condom with his girlfriends, and i know his ex wife was on birth control. Apparently those things did their job- it doesn't make anything wrong with him. Silly boy. I think he is just so ready to have a baby, he wants it to happen now. And he says I am impatient!