Timing is everything

Can someone think of a good way to stress myself out this month? Please? J is going to be out of town from CD 7-16. My luck will be this will be the one cycle that my body decides to go back to Oing on CD13-14. If there was any way I could go visit him for the weekend he is gone to cover our bases, I would. But it's just not in the cards.

Even worse will be the month of February. J will be gone the whole month. Not good for TTC. Stupid military and making him take classes. They are screwing with my plans. From what I have understood from DH, we are going to have limited time anyway this year with the rumors that are flying around. Sucktacular.

Cycle 8

For some reason, I'm ok with this one. It sucks because we had great timing this month and everything looked good until yesterday. But then again, it usually does. I am somewhat hoping my NP wants to be a little proactive about things. I know she has no issues with getting DH in for a SA, so I am assuming we will start there and see what we find. Beyond that though, I am curious as to where this will go next.

Come the 9th, I guess I will know!

Bombs away!

Ok, yesterday's temp drop was nothing. today I am over a degree below coverline. Score. That's always good news at 13 dpo, right? ::sigh:: I had a couple instances of spotting but all other signs of AF have pretty much vanished. WTF? And don't get me started on Fertility Frenemy and their stupid points that somehow managed to go up today.

And to top off this fantabulousness- my car is in the shitter. It runs, but it will spend all day Friday in the shop. Score. After it spent 3 hours there today and they don't know what's wrong with it. They know what's not wrong with it (ie- everything they've already tried replacing that didn't fix it), but that info only gets you so far.

Thank God for warranties and this happening less than 7,000 miles before the cutoff.

Ugh

I hate cramps. I hate even more when they are the kind that give you hope. Bastards.

My temp took a nosedive this morning. I almost cried (almost). But I also slept like hell last night (not bad enough to be sleep deprived, but still pretty bad). My pillow was also wet, so I was drooling which means my mouth was open. Either that or I am grasping at straws. It's probably the latter. I would love to have a definite answer. Soon enough I will. Soon enough.

::waves white flag::

I give up. Will that make me stop crying? I have no freaking clue what is the matter with me, but I hate being like this. Just make it stop.

Maybe I need to quit testing early. (Quit laughing). It doesn't seem like that is the issue, but maybe it is. Right now I have resigned myself to the fact that it's never going to happen. I'm to the point where I don't want to test because I am sick of seeing a negative every.single.time. OPKs are no problem as I eventually get a positive out of those eventually. But hpt's are a completely different story. I know it's only been seven months, but at this point I am ready to just say screw it and move on.

It could also be that due to the laws in our state, adoption is out of the question. There is no possible way we can come up with the minimum of $11,000 needed. That, and I have a huge black mark that will show on my background check and that would likely eliminate us from contention even if we could somehow found the money.

Feeling like this absolutely blows.

Oh snap

I have a blog. Whoops. I sorta forgot.

In reality, everything that has been going on lately has either been sorting itself out or I just don't want to go off into a tirade about it.

So instead I will bitch about how much I hate this impending holiday.

Simple tasks such as going to get milk or some batteries are now hour long trips. People in the stores are clearly walking around like my lovely picture. I almost got killed by a salt truck in the parking lot of our grocery store, so clearly even the employees are out to make my life hell.

And then there's the family crap. Oh, the wonderment of it all. I hate having to make something in 20 minutes after I have worked all day. Always turns out well. My siblings decided amongst themselves what they were going to bring, then asked what I was bringing. Um, you guys took everything. There's nothing left.

And to top it off the weather is craptacular. The roads were a sheet of ice this morning. Lovely.

I hate December.

Ow

So I had another abcess. This one sucked even worse though. It wouldn't open up with heat and moisture, so I made another trip to the urgent care clinic. Last time the doctor just gave me antibiotics and told me to keep heat and moisture on it. I was expecting the same.

So I went back and the doctor came in and started poking at it. Mother fucker- it hurt for my hair to skim across it. It took everything I had not to punch him. So he tells me that he can't find where it is trying to break open, so he is going to make an incision so it can drain. Fuck me running. It hurts even worse after some jackass just spent almost 5 minutes squeezing it, and now you want to cut it open. Awesome.

So I lie down and they wipe it clean. Here it comes and we have a cut- I about broke the little leg support thingy they pull out. Next step- mother fucker starts squeezing it. What the hell? Dude, I will put a warm wash cloth on it and let it drain on it's own. Apparently that never crossed his mind as he spent another 5 minutes squeezing the infection out. Awesome. They took a culture and will make sure that the antibiotic he prescribed would work with whatever was causing the infection.

They get done and put a band aid on it. Thanks assholes. That sticky crap on my sore face is just what I needed. I can feel it throbbing under the stupid thing too. And it does this the entire time we are waiting at Walgreen's for my pills to get filled. Le sigh. The heat and moisture was helping a little bit, so hopefully it will continue to go down.