Worst fear confirmed

One of my biggest fears with getting pregnant would be that I may have problems. My dad's youngest sister (N) and my uncle (C) adopted my cousin 6 months before I was born. I never knew why they didn't any children of their own. I have always figured that there was some issue somewhere.

Part of the reason for this fear is there are so many similarities between N and I it's not funny. One big one is that we are both the youngest out of our siblings (I know this actually means nothing, but whatever. If I want to believe that there is a curse on my family where if the youngest child of 4 is going to have problems having children if they are female, I will. ).

So C is talking to J at the bar last night at my cousin's wedding. I went over to talk to him for a couple minutes since I hadn't talked to him all day (it's like his son was getting married or something). Naturally, the baby question comes up. I've been pretty much brushing them off all night, but J normally blurts it out, though he didn't this time. J then asked C how they ended up getting S (my cousin, obviously). C gladly told us, and then started in on how they had tried for a while, and asked if we had been trying. I said yeah, a little while. C started talking about what we should do (I was scared of what he might say at this point)- first thing out of his mouth "You need to be taking your temp in the morning". Inside I was falling over laughing. He said they did some of the Old Wives Tales just in case, and did testing. There was nothing wrong with either of them. There was no reason they shouldn't have been able to conceive. That inner laughter stopped pretty damn quick. That was so not what I wanted to hear- I was really hoping there was some explanation on their end- but there's not.

Right now I am just hanging on to the fact that was around 30 years ago and the medical field has made a lot of gains since then. But it's really not much of a consolation.