Because we aren't obsessive enough as it is, let's add a tool that is complete bullshit that will drive people nuts. Stupid FF. Take them away damn it. You are giving me false hope with those 60+ points. I don't think I have ever seen anything higher than 35 before. I know they are crap, but still. Add to the obsession.
I am still undecided on which date I really Oed. CD15 does seem to make sense, but if I switch it to FAM, it goes to CD17. Either way our timing gets us a High, so I suppose it really doesn't matter. At least it was early enough that the blood test on Monday should be accurate. Gah, that's in two days. I am so not looking forward to getting stuff taken out of my ute. It's just not my idea of fun. I am afraid it is going to hurt like a mother fucker. I will already be in pain the that general vicinity, so adding internal poking and proding isn't going to be fun.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Eep
One more week and I go in for my blood test. It would be awesome if I ended up not having to do the biopsy, but I have a feeling that will not be the case. We shall see.
Monday, May 18, 2009
::does happy dance::
Down 5.5 lbs in a week- sweet! That almost makes up for the semi-starvation.
Almost.
Almost.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Hold me.
June 2nd needs to stay the hell away.
I scheduled my endo biopsy for that day. I am really, really hoping that is goes as well as my HSG did, but I am not going to hold my breath for that one. This test scares the beejesus out of me for some reason.
I will have to go in on the 1st to do a blood pregnancy test (seriously- what are the chances I will O at a "normal" time two months in a row? Slim to none, and my Rottie just ate slim). Waste of everyone's time, but I get why they need to do it.
Le sigh. If I weren't on a diet, I would cram my face with comfort foods.
I scheduled my endo biopsy for that day. I am really, really hoping that is goes as well as my HSG did, but I am not going to hold my breath for that one. This test scares the beejesus out of me for some reason.
I will have to go in on the 1st to do a blood pregnancy test (seriously- what are the chances I will O at a "normal" time two months in a row? Slim to none, and my Rottie just ate slim). Waste of everyone's time, but I get why they need to do it.
Le sigh. If I weren't on a diet, I would cram my face with comfort foods.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Yes, I know
Friday, May 8, 2009
Taking the bad with the good.
Tomorrow J will have been home for 1 year. Hopefully he will be around this time next year (this is iffy at the moment). I am beyond thrilled with that.
However, I was sure by this point I would at the very least be pregnant. But as of now, I've got nothing. No baby, no pregnancy, no explanation as to why either. So far there is nothing wrong with us. What the fuck? What the hell do we have to do to get this to work? Our timing is always there. I ovulate every month. WHAT THE FUCK?
Obviously this one is getting to me a bit more. Nothing like a half hour break down in the shower. Fun fun. By now I really can't be blaming this on hormones, but the effing crying won't stop. Everything and everyone is pissing me off. I hate being like this. I get that it's nothing they are trying to do, but every last little thing is like a taunt of what I can't have.
However, I was sure by this point I would at the very least be pregnant. But as of now, I've got nothing. No baby, no pregnancy, no explanation as to why either. So far there is nothing wrong with us. What the fuck? What the hell do we have to do to get this to work? Our timing is always there. I ovulate every month. WHAT THE FUCK?
Obviously this one is getting to me a bit more. Nothing like a half hour break down in the shower. Fun fun. By now I really can't be blaming this on hormones, but the effing crying won't stop. Everything and everyone is pissing me off. I hate being like this. I get that it's nothing they are trying to do, but every last little thing is like a taunt of what I can't have.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Worst fear confirmed
One of my biggest fears with getting pregnant would be that I may have problems. My dad's youngest sister (N) and my uncle (C) adopted my cousin 6 months before I was born. I never knew why they didn't any children of their own. I have always figured that there was some issue somewhere.
Part of the reason for this fear is there are so many similarities between N and I it's not funny. One big one is that we are both the youngest out of our siblings (I know this actually means nothing, but whatever. If I want to believe that there is a curse on my family where if the youngest child of 4 is going to have problems having children if they are female, I will. ).
So C is talking to J at the bar last night at my cousin's wedding. I went over to talk to him for a couple minutes since I hadn't talked to him all day (it's like his son was getting married or something). Naturally, the baby question comes up. I've been pretty much brushing them off all night, but J normally blurts it out, though he didn't this time. J then asked C how they ended up getting S (my cousin, obviously). C gladly told us, and then started in on how they had tried for a while, and asked if we had been trying. I said yeah, a little while. C started talking about what we should do (I was scared of what he might say at this point)- first thing out of his mouth "You need to be taking your temp in the morning". Inside I was falling over laughing. He said they did some of the Old Wives Tales just in case, and did testing. There was nothing wrong with either of them. There was no reason they shouldn't have been able to conceive. That inner laughter stopped pretty damn quick. That was so not what I wanted to hear- I was really hoping there was some explanation on their end- but there's not.
Right now I am just hanging on to the fact that was around 30 years ago and the medical field has made a lot of gains since then. But it's really not much of a consolation.
Part of the reason for this fear is there are so many similarities between N and I it's not funny. One big one is that we are both the youngest out of our siblings (I know this actually means nothing, but whatever. If I want to believe that there is a curse on my family where if the youngest child of 4 is going to have problems having children if they are female, I will. ).
So C is talking to J at the bar last night at my cousin's wedding. I went over to talk to him for a couple minutes since I hadn't talked to him all day (it's like his son was getting married or something). Naturally, the baby question comes up. I've been pretty much brushing them off all night, but J normally blurts it out, though he didn't this time. J then asked C how they ended up getting S (my cousin, obviously). C gladly told us, and then started in on how they had tried for a while, and asked if we had been trying. I said yeah, a little while. C started talking about what we should do (I was scared of what he might say at this point)- first thing out of his mouth "You need to be taking your temp in the morning". Inside I was falling over laughing. He said they did some of the Old Wives Tales just in case, and did testing. There was nothing wrong with either of them. There was no reason they shouldn't have been able to conceive. That inner laughter stopped pretty damn quick. That was so not what I wanted to hear- I was really hoping there was some explanation on their end- but there's not.
Right now I am just hanging on to the fact that was around 30 years ago and the medical field has made a lot of gains since then. But it's really not much of a consolation.
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