Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I am an idiot.

For the first time, I actually allowed myself to get a little excited. How can you argue with my chart? Clearly it must be the HPTs.

WRONG.

Fuck this shit. I want a baby. Badly. But I don't need this psychological mindfuck. I wish there was something logical to be found in my chart at the moment, but there's not. There's just not. Did I not ovulate? If not, why did I have such a great shift? Did I ovulate later? If so, that is complete crap and we are completely hosed.

It took everything I had not to break down at work. Everything. I am mentally exhausted right now. As much as I was a pessimist before, this short stint of optimism has shoved me even further to the side of pessimism than I even have been. I want a child, I want to have a family with my husband, but this is fucking ridiculous. Right now, I just want a fucking answer. I don't even give a shit anymore which one it is.

4 comments:

Cate said...

I'm so sorry :( My chart was a total asshole this cycle too.

Chatham said...

You want me to throat punch your chart? I can do that!

Jaime said...

I am so, so, so sorry. I am so dumbfounded by your chart and the result that you got. I'm still hoping you've just got a late implanter.

*HUGS*

sulfababy said...

:( I'm sorry.