This last month there hasn't been a whole lot to write home about. I had some funky midcycle spotting, but that's about it. I went in for my baseline ultrasound that I had to fight the nurse for (not my nurse, thank God, or I'd be concerned). Cyst is still there. Went from about a 22 to an 18, so that is a plus, but still entirely too big for what should be there on CD2. So we couldn't have cycled if we wanted to.
So here we sit again. J is going to freeze this month so we have that to work with from now on because timing is going to be very iffy for him from here out. Then hopefully in May we will be able to cycle again. It would be really nice if the first round with Femara & Menopur works. Would be even nicer to get in one ultrasound before J leaves.
Hear that cyst? Go the fuck away! You have probably about 40 days to accomplish this task.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Not really baby related.
I have chewed for years. I have tried to quit many times and always end up chewing again. Finally though, I have decided to join a support group. Kind of an on-line AA for chewers. While I know it is still early in my quit and I have a long way to go, I am actually past a week without a dip. Holy crap. I really can't tell you the last time I could actually say that.
I even managed to hold off last night when I got supremely trashed at a co-workers birthday party (K plus open bar with beer = holy hell). Alcohol is a huge trigger for me (it's the main time I chewed to begin with). I had started the year saying that I would only chew when I drank as a way to cut back. J laughs that I thought that would help. He knew exactly what I would do- I'd go get a beer so I could have a dip. Shocker- that is exactly what happened.
So I found my group. The accountability is a huge thing for me- it makes it easier to not take one when I am tempted when I know there is someone I will be disappointing.
This will be a good thing health wise. It needs to happen. I am glad I decided to do this now so I don't have to deal with nic fits while pregnant.
LMAO. Like I will ever be pregnant.
I even managed to hold off last night when I got supremely trashed at a co-workers birthday party (K plus open bar with beer = holy hell). Alcohol is a huge trigger for me (it's the main time I chewed to begin with). I had started the year saying that I would only chew when I drank as a way to cut back. J laughs that I thought that would help. He knew exactly what I would do- I'd go get a beer so I could have a dip. Shocker- that is exactly what happened.
So I found my group. The accountability is a huge thing for me- it makes it easier to not take one when I am tempted when I know there is someone I will be disappointing.
This will be a good thing health wise. It needs to happen. I am glad I decided to do this now so I don't have to deal with nic fits while pregnant.
LMAO. Like I will ever be pregnant.
Monday, February 22, 2010
This is why I am a pessimist.
A normal person or an optimist would have been happy that their period showed up at a time that would work out well. Ever since I started spotting I had a bad feeling about how everything would play out after this. I was thinking it was going to be another huge bomb with the meds.
Nope. Not even going to get to play with the meds this time around. I have a cyst on my left ovary (about 21x21. That would be stellar if it was CD14 instead of CD3. Stupid ovaries. Get your days straight).
Guess I will be digging out the thermometer this month. Or maybe not. Whatever. Not like it will make a difference anyway.
Ahhhh, pessimism.
Nope. Not even going to get to play with the meds this time around. I have a cyst on my left ovary (about 21x21. That would be stellar if it was CD14 instead of CD3. Stupid ovaries. Get your days straight).
Guess I will be digging out the thermometer this month. Or maybe not. Whatever. Not like it will make a difference anyway.
Ahhhh, pessimism.
Friday, February 12, 2010
The bitch can eat our asses.
So J's exwife either decided she wanted to get her name off the house or she wants the house. Lovely. After a long exhausting talk with the morons at Wells Fargo (I despise this bank for a variety of reasons that I'm not going to get into now), he left the bank all pissed off (I had sent him there to make the house payment because I jacked around too long and our good bank wouldn't have paid them until the 16th, which would have made the payment late, so I had him take a check in and he decided to check into the crap we got the other day). They said the process was going to take several months to get her off the loan and it would have been well past when he should no longer be in this country.
So J called our good bank. We can move the loan over to them before month end. The only thing we have to look at will be our homeowner's insurance to compare our current policy with theirs. Our payments will drop over $50 a month. She will be officially gone from our lives. All but one account will be under one bank. I kind of wish we'd done this a while ago.
The funny thing is, if she decided to make a play for the house, we would actually be ok with that. We can quite clearly get a house loan with no problems since the agent at our bank didn't even bat an eye at giving it to us and at a lower interest rate. It would take away our need to unload this place before moving to another. Would we miss our awesome garage? Yeah. But we'd get over it.
So J called our good bank. We can move the loan over to them before month end. The only thing we have to look at will be our homeowner's insurance to compare our current policy with theirs. Our payments will drop over $50 a month. She will be officially gone from our lives. All but one account will be under one bank. I kind of wish we'd done this a while ago.
The funny thing is, if she decided to make a play for the house, we would actually be ok with that. We can quite clearly get a house loan with no problems since the agent at our bank didn't even bat an eye at giving it to us and at a lower interest rate. It would take away our need to unload this place before moving to another. Would we miss our awesome garage? Yeah. But we'd get over it.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
$850
Holy hell. That is what it will cost us to freeze some of J's sperm. (Oh, apparently he's gotten over whatever his issue was and called of his own accord). $500 for the storage and $350 for the wash. Fuck me.
And there's no guarantee that we would even get enough. He was told they will get anywhere from 1-20 vials. 2 are needed to do an IUI. They have some come in with good counts that just don't have enough to freeze for a single IUI. Wonderful. Each follow up appointment would be an additional $350.
If we can swing it, in the long run, it makes sense. The wash portion would be done (if J understood correctly), so that would just leave $100 for my portion of the IUI (plus I am sure some handling for getting it thawed and such). If he managed to get 20 vials, that would be 10 IUI's for $850- $85 each. I really hope it wouldn't come to that.
We are really hoping this next cycle will work out so we don't have to cross this bridge. I'm not holding my breath though.
And there's no guarantee that we would even get enough. He was told they will get anywhere from 1-20 vials. 2 are needed to do an IUI. They have some come in with good counts that just don't have enough to freeze for a single IUI. Wonderful. Each follow up appointment would be an additional $350.
If we can swing it, in the long run, it makes sense. The wash portion would be done (if J understood correctly), so that would just leave $100 for my portion of the IUI (plus I am sure some handling for getting it thawed and such). If he managed to get 20 vials, that would be 10 IUI's for $850- $85 each. I really hope it wouldn't come to that.
We are really hoping this next cycle will work out so we don't have to cross this bridge. I'm not holding my breath though.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Love & Hate
It is amazing when you can love and hate someone with such a passion at the same time.
I so badly want to put J's head through a window right now. We originally had a plan for our refund money. It was a rough plan and I had stated that it may change if I was off on the totals owed. I was. He was sleeping and normally I just run the bills myself anyway, so I did what made the most sense to me. Getting rid of two smaller payments so I can put that money toward the larger balance we owe. One card was over it's limit (I forgot my chiropractor charges to that card and totally missed how high it got. That was my bad and I would actually be ok with him being a little upset over that. I should have been paying attention to that more than I was). The other is a Home Depot card and the balance that was interest free is getting close to the expiration date, so I paid it off before we got slapped with the interest charges.
It took around a half hour for him to comprehend what I did and why I did. Fucker, you show absolutely no interest in where we are at financially at any other point in the year- why would you choose to start giving a shit now?
Part of his issue was where the credit card balances came from. Most of them have been building over the last couple years. We've discussed this on many an occasion. It's not like I am trying to hide balances from him. Not my problem he can't fucking remember things.
Speaking of not being able to remember things, I asked him to see if they had posted his March drill dates yet. "Why?"
"Based off what my body was doing, there's a good chance I ovulated yesterday, so I know when my period should start and about when we would be doing the IUI next month. I need to know when your drill dates are because if you aren't going to be around I'm not going to waste our money getting the drugs" (Fucking DUH. For someone so insanely worried about our money "situation", he clearly wasn't thinking about not wasting $500 on shots. Dumbass.)
I told him the date that we would probably be doing the IUI around if I was right about the ovulating and an approximate on next months. He jumped up to go check his e-mail and see what he could find. He found the last dates that put out there- there shouldn't be any cross over with my date projections.
"Ah, ok. We should be good." I was really thinking we would be totally off.
"Good for what? Are we going to be able to do it or not?"
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS DIPSHIT? I just told you the date we would be doing the IUI 5 fucking minutes ago. Apparently I was looking at him like he had three heads. "What? Does it mean we are good to do it? Good that we are going to miss it and not do the drugs?" (Am I the only one that latter one makes absolutely no sense to?)
It was a good thing I had to leave to mail some checks. I was ready to scream at him. He wants to learn about what we are doing, but use some damn common sense. Blaming the RE because the Femara didn't work for me really isn't constuctive. Getting pissy with me because I am trying to plan shit out really doesn't get us anywhere either.
I'm guessing captain tightwad isn't going to call about freezing any sperm to cover his drills/deployment. He's been on this big kick lately about how he's willing try for a few more years and blah blah blah. Solving the wrong problem babe. More time isn't going to fix whatever the hell the problem is.
I so badly want to put J's head through a window right now. We originally had a plan for our refund money. It was a rough plan and I had stated that it may change if I was off on the totals owed. I was. He was sleeping and normally I just run the bills myself anyway, so I did what made the most sense to me. Getting rid of two smaller payments so I can put that money toward the larger balance we owe. One card was over it's limit (I forgot my chiropractor charges to that card and totally missed how high it got. That was my bad and I would actually be ok with him being a little upset over that. I should have been paying attention to that more than I was). The other is a Home Depot card and the balance that was interest free is getting close to the expiration date, so I paid it off before we got slapped with the interest charges.
It took around a half hour for him to comprehend what I did and why I did. Fucker, you show absolutely no interest in where we are at financially at any other point in the year- why would you choose to start giving a shit now?
Part of his issue was where the credit card balances came from. Most of them have been building over the last couple years. We've discussed this on many an occasion. It's not like I am trying to hide balances from him. Not my problem he can't fucking remember things.
Speaking of not being able to remember things, I asked him to see if they had posted his March drill dates yet. "Why?"
"Based off what my body was doing, there's a good chance I ovulated yesterday, so I know when my period should start and about when we would be doing the IUI next month. I need to know when your drill dates are because if you aren't going to be around I'm not going to waste our money getting the drugs" (Fucking DUH. For someone so insanely worried about our money "situation", he clearly wasn't thinking about not wasting $500 on shots. Dumbass.)
I told him the date that we would probably be doing the IUI around if I was right about the ovulating and an approximate on next months. He jumped up to go check his e-mail and see what he could find. He found the last dates that put out there- there shouldn't be any cross over with my date projections.
"Ah, ok. We should be good." I was really thinking we would be totally off.
"Good for what? Are we going to be able to do it or not?"
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS DIPSHIT? I just told you the date we would be doing the IUI 5 fucking minutes ago. Apparently I was looking at him like he had three heads. "What? Does it mean we are good to do it? Good that we are going to miss it and not do the drugs?" (Am I the only one that latter one makes absolutely no sense to?)
It was a good thing I had to leave to mail some checks. I was ready to scream at him. He wants to learn about what we are doing, but use some damn common sense. Blaming the RE because the Femara didn't work for me really isn't constuctive. Getting pissy with me because I am trying to plan shit out really doesn't get us anywhere either.
I'm guessing captain tightwad isn't going to call about freezing any sperm to cover his drills/deployment. He's been on this big kick lately about how he's willing try for a few more years and blah blah blah. Solving the wrong problem babe. More time isn't going to fix whatever the hell the problem is.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Game cancelled.
Today's follie check did not go oh so well. My largest follie actually shrank from 15 to 14.5 over 3 days. My lining has dropped to 7.2.
If my period hasn't begun in 3 weeks I will call in to get Provera to force it. Otherwise the current plan is to start over next cycle with Femara and Menopur. My follies initially responded very well to the Femara, but didn't have quite enough to finish up the job. The hope is the Menopur will make up for this.
Here's to hoping.
If my period hasn't begun in 3 weeks I will call in to get Provera to force it. Otherwise the current plan is to start over next cycle with Femara and Menopur. My follies initially responded very well to the Femara, but didn't have quite enough to finish up the job. The hope is the Menopur will make up for this.
Here's to hoping.
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